I AM SO HAPPPPPPPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYYY!
goodbye Gilead =)
for the past couple months i feel like i've been losing a lot of control over my career/future, for the longest time it was extremely depressing, but now that i know what i don't know im kind of excited. ive been at my first real job out of college for 1 year & 3 weeks now and came to the conclusion 6 months ago that i absolutely have to get out of it, i hate it so much... to the point where it's so depressing. i take 2 hr lunchbreaks to go swimming everyday and still go home at 4. if i dont get to swim that day i feel like it's a day wasted. and it's not that i dont do a good job, i certainly do my job, i just hate every minute of it. so recently i finally decided id give myself 2-3 months to get a new job or id just up & quit cuz the job was killing me, boredom really kills. for the longest time my parents told me to just suck it up and quit complaining, the job is easy and the money is good, typical, eventually it got so bad my parents agreed i should just quit, even my patient bf was sick of hearing me complain and the depression was bringing everyone down. and it's not like i have to do bad stuff, it's just so boring it kills me that that's what i have to do 5 days a week. my depression over how much i hated my job got so bad last week that i finally built up enough courage (either that or broke down) to tell my boss, the director & the senior vp that i absolutely hate my job, manufacturing operations is not for me, i feel like i didnt have to go to school to do this crap, and its getting extremely difficult to get out of bed every morning. i want a new job. man those were some of the most nerve-racking meetings ive ever had to go through. i was hoping that they'd help me find my next job but also feared that they'd say that's nice, good bye. i felt so incredibly relieved once i told all of them, i dont think ive felt that good in the entire year ive worked there. it was well received, they said i was brave to admit it, and that it was obvious to everyone that my job was not for me and that they'll help me find another job within the company because i do really want to stay. since then i've been really anxious to find what i want to do and to know what my next job is going to be. knowing that i dont know what the heck i want to do. in the past, even tho i havent held real jobs, there's always only been 1 real obvious option and i always knew the path i was going to take... i never thought it'd be so exciting not knowing what i want to do next and thinking about the possible opportunities. im back in interview mode and it's kinda fun this time around... anyway, i just felt like writing about it.